Jumpline magazine Spring 2025 - Flipbook - Page 7
1403 Of昀椀cers
Chris Fink
Secretary
the best 昀椀re昀椀ghter he ever known.
The good Captain told us that when he was in high school and
other kids were talking about attending dances or going to football
games, all he wanted to do was go to the 昀椀re station with his dad.
As a teenager, he was regular at his dad’s 昀椀rehouses. He described how his dad took him to meet Chicago Fire Commissioner
Robert J. Quinn. Quinn was legendary 昀椀gure on the CFD and
served as its commissioner for 21 years. The Captain recalled
that when he met Quinn, he felt like he was walking into the Oval
Of昀椀ce to meet the President of the United States and how impressed he was that Quinn knew his dad and spoke highly of him.
He frequently spoke about his two children, Bill Jr and Renee.
Back then, I think they were in high school and getting ready for
college. He gave us regular updates on their lives, kept us posted
on their achievements and was always very proud of them.
Hijinks and Shenanigans
Being well known for his antics, Captain Gustin made working at
the station entertaining to say the least. He set the tone for the
station and was quite the practical joker. Despite running 15–20
calls a shift and drilling when we weren’t running calls, there was
always time for fun. He had nicknames for everyone; some were
more appropriate than others. He had a way of taking mundane
things and making them into a song and dance routine. The
Captain had his repertoire of jokes and most of them were either bad, quirky, inappropriate, or some combination thereof. The
jokes seldom changed over the years. He always relished when
a new audience provided an opportunity for him to try out some
of his “standard” material. One of his frequent jokes was, “What’s
the difference between jelly and jam?” Another regular joke was
about the word “in-de昀椀nitely….”
7
at the site of a 50 year man, scantily clad, standing in front of
them asking about how his helmet 昀椀t.
Miscellaneous Observations
He referred to paramedics as the “healthcare professionals”. On
many a call, when we were waiting for a Rescue to transport, he
would tell the patient, “The ‘healthcare professionals’ are on their
way. We are just four schmoes on a 昀椀re truck.”
Captain Gustin always referred to the Battalion Chief vehicle as
the “Chief’s buggy,” which was a throwback to what they called
them in CFD.
If you were driving for him and he thought you were going too fast,
he would never say “Slow down” his go to phrase was “Watch
your speed, Handsome.”
After dinner, while we were cleaning up, the Captain would walk
over to the freezer and grab a half gallon container of ice cream.
He would then proceed to start eating directly from the container
with a tablespoon. When he 昀椀nished, he returned the ice cream
to the freezer as though it was perfectly normal to eat, oblivious to
the fact that the other seven folks in the station might want some
ice cream too.
He loved animals, especially dogs. We always had a bag
He would often take out his false front teeth and then do something
with them that was inappropriate, but we were always amused by
his sophomoric behavior.
When you were least expecting it, Captain Gustin
would often walk up behind you and stick the wet
end of his cigar in your ear. Most folks would immediately squirm away and utter a profanity, and he
always seemed to enjoy whatever the reaction was.
If there was someone new at the station, one of the Captain’s
favorite pastimes was to approach the new guy with his hands
in his pocket, get uncomfortably close into their personal space,
and ask them “Do you want to see my nuts?” This was a scene
that played out dozens of times and we always enjoyed seeing
how folks would react. Some would play along, and others would
sometimes be morti昀椀ed not knowing what to expect next until
the Captain would ultimately pull out a large pair of galvanized hex nuts from his pocket.
Another of the Captain’s signature moves was to wait until
a new guy settled into the recliner during the early afternoon. Often, we were eagerly waiting and watching
because we knew what was about to happen. Eventually, the Captain would walk out of the dorm, wearing
only a 昀椀re helmet. Once again, he would get uncomfortably close and then ask the new guy, “Hey, I got this new
helmet, how do you think it 昀椀ts?” Some found it amusing,
many found it horrifying, and others were extremely disturbed
Spring 2025 | JUMPLINE Magazine
